If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
