So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
