Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize