i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
