google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
