I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
