Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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