you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
