can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize