If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
