wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this is an emotional support booty call
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
