did you get engaged???
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's always time for handjobs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
