so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
