that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
