What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
