My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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