we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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