Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i permit you to call me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
