he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
