he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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