Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so let's talk penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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