dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize