NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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