you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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