hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
