Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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