About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
