GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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