Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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