"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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