Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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