my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize