nutella sex= disaster
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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