There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
