Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
