Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
