you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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