I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
