i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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