O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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