That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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