I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
