she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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