Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
