He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
