Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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