Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
