What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
