My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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