Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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