Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
