Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
