If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
