My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize