This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
