dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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