They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
