you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
is wine microwaveable?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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