Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize