Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
